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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157685">softly spoken, speaking dreams</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceice_ty/pseuds/iceice_ty'>iceice_ty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - No COVID-19, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idols, Jung Sungchan is a Good Friend, M/M, Osaki Shotaro is Whipped</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:54:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,467</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceice_ty/pseuds/iceice_ty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shotaro isn’t quite sure how he missed Taeyong when he walked in. Taeyong’s voice echoed softly in the small room, the low vocal fry distinctive. It’s hard to see through the glass into the dark booth, but Shotaro’s mouth drops open a little in awe. It's clear why he's the visual, even more clear why he's the leader, the ace. Shotaro's stomach fills with butterflies, the same honey yellow as Taeyong's hair.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Taeyong/Osaki Shotaro</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I saw Taeyong taking care of Shotaro in the Make a Wish behind videos and this happened!<br/>I started this before realizing they filmed NCT world before promoting so the timeline isn’t accurate! Also literally every time I made a choice about time/people/place involved in filming sm dropped a video contradicting me, so this is ~fictional~</p><p>Title from Make a Wish- NCT U</p><p>I shoot for chapter updates the 14-17th of every month!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shotaro thought that he had mostly gotten over performance anxiety. That he could walk into a dance studio and feel at ease. He’d been performing for years, had been the youngest in the room on practically every major project he’d been a part of. Walking into the training room when he first joined SM was intense, but as soon as they started teaching choreography from their sunbaes he felt at home, able to keep up with ease. Vocal lessons were harder, rapping in unfamiliar words required hours and hours of practice, recording himself going over the same 8 bars over and over until his lips were dry and throat sore.</p><p>But it had all paid off when a manager-noona pulls him aside at the end of a long Korean lesson. “You have a meeting tomorrow at 2:00 pm. You’ll leave your vocal lesson early, I’ll pick you up, okay?” she asks. Shotaro nods slowly in confusion.</p><p>“Did I do something wrong, noona? My evaluation isn’t for another week.” She smiled widely behind her mask, eyes squinching shut. She was Shotaro’s favorite noona, always willing to repeat herself if he needed another pass to understand what was said.</p><p>“No, it’s good news, I promise. Now c’mon, let’s get you and the boys back to the dorms. You’ve worked hard, you should eat something and rest a little.” Shotaro nods.</p><p>“Yes, noona.” She chuckles and ruffles his hair a little. Shotaro bears it, not pushing her hand away. In truth, he liked the attention just a little. It was hard being so far from family and friends. His fellow trainees are nice enough, but there’s an edge to every interaction, a sword hanging over all of their heads. <em>Who will get to debut?</em> Shotaro makes a beeline for Sungchan, who is probably his closest friend amongst the trainees. He’s been training for a long time, one of the oldest trainees. He’s kind despite the time he’s spent waiting for his debut and he’s always the first to encourage the others when it feels like the only outcome will be failure. Sungchan raises an arm in greeting and Shotaro ducks in for a quick half-hug.</p><p>“Everything good?” Sungchan asks as they start to leave the company building. Shotaro nods. “Yeah, I have a meeting with some people. But noona said it wasn’t bad news.” Sungchan’s brows furrowed and his head tipped to the side a little. Shotaro could see the way he draws his lower lip between his teeth when he’s thinking hard.</p><p>“You too?” Shotaro made a soft noise of surprise.</p><p>“You got one too?” he asks. Sungchan hums.</p><p>“I <em>have</em> one,” he corrects gently and Shotaro repeats the sentence properly. “And yeah, Jinnie-noona told me after dance practice during lunch. I wonder if any of the other boys have one too?” Shotaro felt a faint pang of envy at how comfortable Sungchan was with the staff they regularly interacted with. Shotaro had only been at the company for a little over two months, he still felt awkward with most people. But Sungchan had a good point. Maybe there would be a rookie showcase? That could be fun. They pull on hoods and hats as the group of trainees file out of the back, staff-only doors and into two large black vans. Shotaro ate his dinner quickly, wishing as always that it was a little more. He went to his room, played a few rounds of a computer game with his roommates before getting ready for bed. He tried to read another chapter of the Korean novel he was struggling through, but after a few pages he gave up. It took a while to fall asleep, but once he did, Shotaro slept soundly until the screeching of the dorm alarm went off in the morning for the morning workout.</p><p>........</p><p>Walking into a massive conference room on one of the top floors of the company building is decidedly the most out-of-place Shotaro has felt in the three months he’s been here. He’s flanked on either side by Sungchan and Jinnie-noona, who both seem completely at ease walking into the room at 2:07 pm. There are many faces in the room and Shotaro squeezes his hands into fists to curb his anxiety. He knows who these people are. This is… all of NCT. Shy a few members, but there are still several empty seats left. Shotaro’s mouth drops open and he surely would have made an embarrassing noise if Sungchan hadn’t started waving excitedly, voice loud as he exclaims. “Oh wow! Hey guys!” One of the members, Shotaro places him as Jungwoo, bounces out of his chair to wrap Sungchan in a huge hug. They’re both giggling and there are several other shouts of greetings and cheers. Of course there would be. Sungchan has trained with many of the members for some length of time, they know him. Jinnie-noona clears her throat and the room quiets down. Impressive.</p><p>“This is Osaki Shotaro, he joined the company recently.” She introduces, nudging him forwards. He bows deeply before offering a small wave.</p><p>“It’s an honor to meet you all, please take care of me.” He prays his Korean doesn’t come out stilted or too formal or any other of the numerous mistakes he makes when speaking the language. The greetings are returned, but Sotaro can’t pick out any one voice, the chaos of almost 20 people talking at once reducing words to white noise. Until a familiar lilt breaks through the noise. Shotaro hones in on it.</p><p>“Welcome! You’re Japanese, right?”</p><p>“Yes!” Shotaro pipes up, eyes bright. He finds the source of the familiarity, and Shotaro recognizes the long silver hair and ears full of piercings as Yuta. He smiles back and gestures for Shotaro to take the seat next to him. Shotaro glances at Sungchan, who’s talking with Jungwoo and another boy, one of the chinese members. He makes his way to Yuta, smiling and nodding politely to anyone who offers congratulations and greetings.</p><p>“I knew the company took in a Japanese trainee but I didn’t get a chance to swing by the trainee rooms yet,” Yuta says, Japanese rapid-fire. Shotaro almost breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn’t have to translate his thoughts, isn’t limited by a language he’s still learning.</p><p>“Oh that’s fine! I’m sure you’re really busy!” Shotaro waves off Yuta’s apologetic look. Yuta grins and tosses an arm over Shotaro’s shoulder. He freezes up before relaxing into the casual affection. He remembers seeing Yuta in interviews with NCT 127, free with his touches.</p><p>“Well now I’m not the only Japanese member!” Yuta says. “If any of my friends, other Japanese idols, are promoting when we do, I’ll be sure to introduce you! There’s so few of us these days.” Yuta trails off at the end and Shotaro makes a confused noise, pulling away to be able to look at Yuta properly.</p><p>“What do you mean member? Promoting?”</p><p>Yuta’s smile turns sheepish and he rubs at the back of his neck. “Oops, guess I kind of stole the thunder for the meeting.” Shotaro gasps, mouth falling open.</p><p>“Wait, is that what this is?” Yuta laughs but he reaches out to squeeze Shotaro’s shoulder.</p><p>“What did you think it was? I don't want to spoil any more details, but they told us a while ago they were planning on debuting new members this year.” Before Shotaro can respond the door to the conference room swings open, revealing four more members and a tall older man in a sharp suit. Shotaro instantly recognizes the first man in the door, Lee Taeyong. Leader of NCT and renowned dancer. He’s with Ten, Mark and Lucas. Shotaro slowly realizes they must be coming from a SuperM thing.</p><p>Shotaro has to suppress a gasp when he really looks at Taeyong, still in makeup and stylishly dressed. He’s attractive in a way other members in the room aren’t, magnetic. Shotaro barely hears what’s said in the meeting, too overcome by the building excitement that he’s going to debut and <em>soon</em>. Yuta whispers translations into his ear, and Shotaro squeezes his knee in gratitude every time. It’s extra tight when the man leading the meeting reads off the unit lists and Shotaro realizes he’s going to debut not only with NCT, but with Taeyong. A giddy feeling bubbles up in his chest, one Shotaro can’t even begin to attribute to one particular reason. He leaves for the dorms with Sungchan that night with a genuine smile stretching his face, so wide his cheeks hurt.</p><p>Working on <em>Wish</em> was exhilarating. Shotaro was astonished by how easy the process seemed for his new members. After the first announcement, there was a lull while songs were finished up and choreographers contacted. Shotaro and Sungchan were moved to private lessons and Shotato spent more of his day in a practice recording studio than ever before. Management wasn’t worried about his dancing or performance, but he hadn’t hit high marks on his vocals. He wasn’t expecting a large rap part or any vocals, but he did have to record something and he would need to be able to perform it live.</p><p>........</p><p>The weather was just barely beginning to cool down when he received notice of the official recording date. He was slated for the same period as Lucas, Taeyong, and Jaehyun. Sungchan was working on another track, Shotaro wasn’t ever told the title, but he would be recording later in the week. They were eating a light lunch in the practice studio when the news came and Shotaro lost most of his appetite, setting down his convenience store rice ball.</p><p>Sungchan looked up from his phone. “You all good Sho?” He took a sip of water, eyes trained on Shotaro’s unfinished food.</p><p>Shotaro cleared his throat. “Um,” he pauses, wondering how honest he should be. This is Sungchan, his friend and now his bandmate. It should be okay to be a little weak. “Nervous. Really nervous. I have a recording session tomorrow night and it’s with the members of NCT.” Sungchan nods and scooches over on the floor to pull Shotaro into a hug.</p><p>“You know they’re your members now, right? Our members.” Shotaro nods into Sungchan’s chest.</p><p>“Yeah, but you trained with them. And you speak Korean. What if I mess up a bunch and delay recording? What if that makes them think I’m a weak link?” Sungchan rubs Shotaro’s shoulder and soothes him gently.</p><p>“They’re not going to think that. Don’t forget, no matter how successful they are now, they started just like you, as a trainee. They built their skills up over time, trust me. And no one is going to hold it against you if you, a rookie idol, mess up a few times along the way.” Sungchan tilts Shotaro’s chin so they’re facing each other. The touch shocks Shotaro, but he doesn’t pull away.</p><p>“I think I know that here,” he taps at his head. Shotaro wishes he could express his thoughts better, more eloquently. He pauses for a moment to gather his words. “It’s hard to be a new trainee with a big performance career behind them. I’m young but I’ve done things, you know?” Sungchan nods and Shotaro continues. “I’m a dancer. I’ve never rapped or sung before and certainly not with some of the best of the industry. It makes me feel….not sick but…” Shotaro releases a frustrated puff of breath as he flounders for the word. Sungchan spoke up quietly.</p><p>“Anxious?” Shotaro nodded.</p><p>“Yeah! It makes me feel anxious.” Shotaro wriggles a little in Sungchan’s arms and the other boy lets him go. Sungchan glances pointedly at Shotaro’s riceball and Shotaro reluctantly picks it up. He forces himself to take a bite, but finds it goes down a bit easier now. He swallows and looks up at Sungchan.</p><p>“You sure it’ll be okay?” Sungchan smiles and nods.</p><p>“Positive. Now hurry and finish up, they sent lyric sheets with the recording times, I’ll help you go over yours.” Shotaro nods diligently and the rice ball goes down smoothly. He doesn’t know how to thank Sungchan for always taking care of him, even if he is younger than himself. Shotaro is glad that Sungchan is the one debuting with him.</p><p>........</p><p>Walking into the real recording studio feels a lot like a death march, Shotaro notes. He was driven over by himself, the older members coming from different projects. A new manager drove him too, a middle-aged man who let Shotaro pick the music and pointed out different landmarks along the Han river. The sun has already begun to set and manager-nim even pulls over so Shotaro can take a few nice selcas. When Shotaro gets back into the car the manager smiles warmly behind his white mask. “You’ll need lots of selcas soon son,” he advises. “Better start taking a bunch, get practice in for photocards.” Shotaro nods and thanks him profusely for the advice as they pull up in front of the building. He hadn’t even considered that, all the photos he would take for photocards and social medias.</p><p>He opens his car door and thanks manager-nim again for driving him. The manager chuckles. “You’re very welcome, Shotaro. I’ll be back to pick all of you up once recording is over. Taeyong-ah will call me when you’re done. Have fun!” Shotaro waves as he drives off and is left standing at the threshold to the recording studio. He knows he belongs, just needs to scan his ID card at the doors and someone will direct him to the correct floor and studio number.</p><p>During Shotaro’s first week in Korea, Jinnie-noona had taken him on an extended tour. She covered all of the different dorm buildings, explained that there were multiple for artist safety and that artists lived in the same building as their staff, but on separate floors. She took him around the company building, introduced him to all the floors. Shotaro was flustered the entire time as he met product designers and stylists and producers. Their last stop was a drive-by of the three recording studios most frequently used by SM.</p><p>Shotaro takes a deep breath, hitches his backpack higher up on the shoulder it’s slung across and takes a step forward. He says hello to the woman at the security desk and swipes his idea. The turnstyle dings and flashes green and Shotaro pushes through delicately. “I’m here for NCT U?” he asks the woman, hoping that she’ll understand. She smiles brightly behind her plexiglass screen.</p><p>“Yes, welcome! You’ll be on floor 3, studio B. The other boys are up there with the producer and director. Fighting!” She raises a small fist in encouragement and Shotaro bows deeply in thanks.</p><p>The elevator ride is short and Shotaro can feel his stomach turning over the closer he gets. He fidgets with his bag strap and the zipper on his hoodie. He hopes he’s not underdressed, wearing the same too-big grey sweats and even larger purple zip hoodie he had for dance practice earlier. Sungchan had assured him that no one dresses up for recordings, that he’s met Jungwoo and others before and after recording sessions enough times to know that the goal is comfort not style. But what does comfort mean when you’re rich enough to afford Vetements and Balenciaga and Prada routinely? The doors chime and retract and Shotaro is forced to step into the hallway.</p><p>It’s surprisingly quiet and plain, just a row of brown doors along grey walls. At the furthest end of the hallways is a large glass table and what looked like the kitchenette in their dorm. Shotaro can’t hear any music leaking from under any of the doors. He scans the small silver plaques to the left of each door and finds “B” almost instantly. It’s to his left, and there isn’t another door for quite a ways on the wall. Must be a large studio, Shotaro thinks. He clenches his fists, takes a deep breath, and then makes his legs step towards the door. It feels huge for a moment, like he is Alice shrinking before the door to the next destination. Behind that door is his idols, his future. Shotaro breathes again, closes his eyes and opens them slowly. It’s just a door. He wipes clammy hands off on his sweats and grips the doorknob. He twists, gives a slight push, and then the door is open.</p><p>Several pairs of eyes land on Shotaro as the door swings open. The studio <em>is</em> roomy, a good-sized couch on one side, the door to the booth, a window between the booth and the producer’s set up. There are three staff members, including someone with longer black hair and tattoos, Shotaro assumed he was the producer. On the couch sat Jaehyun and Lucas, both dressed, as Sungchan had said, casually. Jaehyun smiles brightly, mask currently pulled down under his chin, water bottle in hand. “Hello!”</p><p>Shotaro bows deeply, a full 90 degrees. “Hello, my name is Shotaro, It’s nice to meet you,” he says to the ground. Lucas laughs loudly, and as Shotaro straightens up he sees Lucas’ head tipped back in humor. He feels his ears burn hot, did he mess something up? It’s as if Jaehyun can sense his discomfort. He stands up from the couch and bows too, although to a much lesser degree.</p><p>“It’s really nice to meet you Shotaro. I’m really excited you’re joining NCT.” Shotaro immediately understands why Jaehyun is a fan favorite. He’s beyond hot, he’s classically handsome in a way usually only found in fancy Western sculptures. His smile reveals the deep dimples he’s known for and Shotaro’s heart stutters. Shotaro flushes deeper, but his embarrassment is eased. “Don’t mind Lucas,” Jaehyun wacks the man in question. “He’s not making fun of you.” Lucas nods eagerly.</p><p>“Oh Yes! I just see what I must’ve looked like when I first joined NCT. But hello, welcome!” Lucas is loud, sounds like he’s yelling even at a close distance. Shotaro nods slightly in acknowledgment, dipping his head and shoulders in another short bow.</p><p>“It’s okay! I’m sure my Korean isn’t good.” Lucas furrows his brows.</p><p>“No! It’s really really good! Better than mine when I had been in Korea for only a few months!” Shotaro hears the slight mistake but doesn’t correct it. The double “really” is phrased wrong and a shot of pride warms his stomach, eases his anxiety slightly. He is making progress. Jaehyun introduces him to the director and manager in the room, and Shotaro realizes they’re short one person.</p><p>Shotaro isn’t quite sure how he missed Taeyong when he walked in. They had met twice before, at the announcement meeting, and once before that in the hallways of the company building. He’d been so anxious about the recording and subsequently embarrassed meeting Lucas and Jaehyun that he hadn’t realized someone was actually <em>in</em> the recording booth. Taeyong’s voice echoed softly in the small room, the low vocal fry distinctive. It’s hard to see through the glass into the dark booth, but Shotaro’s mouth drops open a little in awe because Taeyong is not dressed casually. He’s in a fluffy cardigan that displays a large swatch of chest and collarbones and there is a black bucket hat on his head. He wiggles his shoulders as he raps, gesturing with the hand not holding the lyric sheet as he spits absolute <em>bars</em>.</p><p>“Woa…” he breathes out, eyes fixed on Taeyong. Jaehyun lets out a small chuckle.</p><p>“Ah yes, our fearless leader, Lee Taeyong, always impressive. You met him before, right?” Jaehyun asks, and Shotaro has to blink hard to tear his eyes away. Lucas is saying something, and Shotaro tries his hardest to pay attention but his mind is still focused on Taeyong. Butterflies alight in his stomach, the same honey yellow as Taeyong’s hair under his hat. He feels eyes on him and Shotaro blinks at Lucas and Jaehyun. “You met Taeyong-hyung before?” Jaehyun repeats and Shotaro nods.</p><p>“Yes, at the announcement. And once in the practice rooms.” He explains. Shotaro fights off a flush, grateful for his mask, at the thought of Taeyong sitting at the big company table, still in makeup from an earlier schedule. He was otherworldly. Shotaro easily understands how he ended up as the visual of the group. And then he’d turned his big, dark, round eyes on Shotaro and smiled really widely behind his mask and welcomed him to the team. He welcomed Sungchan individually as well, told them both that if they ever needed anything, anything at all, to find him and he’d help. It had been an overwhelming amount of sincerity for Shotaro to take in.</p><p>Then he’d repeated himself in Japanese, accented but still clear and free enough of hesitation that it was easy to follow. It took a lot for Shotaro not to cry right then and there. Before he could do something horrifyingly embarrassing like drop to his knees right then and there to thank Taeyong, the meeting was adjourned and Yuta had bounded up to Shotaro, slinging an arm over his shoulders and chattering excitedly in Japanese until Jinnie-noona had taken him and Sungchan back to the dorms. Shotaro smiles fondly at the memory, but is brought back to the recording studio when he hears a staff member speak up.</p><p>“We’re going to turn the cameras on now for some footage, act natural.” She instructs, fiddling with a small camera, before filming them waving hello. She sets it down on the coffee table and Jaehyun and Lucas start talking to it with ease. Shotaro adjusts his hat, tipping the brim to show off his eyes but cover his hair, which was in-between color processes. The manager not filming gestured at him to remove his mask, so he tugged it down before using the edge of his sleeve to dab around his mouth.</p><p>Jaehyun finishes joking around with Lucas and quickly makes eye contact with Shotaro before swinging the camera around. “And we are joined today by a new member! Czennies, say hello to Shotaro!” Jaehyun smiles encouragingly behind the camera and Shotaro bobs his head in a quick greeting.</p><p>“Hello, my name is Shotaro and I’m very excited to be joining NCT U,” he says softly. Jaehyun rolls his finger in a <em>keep going</em> gesture, and Shotaro smiles while wracking his brain for something to say in Korean. “I admired NCT from Japan, so it’s an honor to join them.” He finishes and Lucas gives him a big thumbs up.</p><p>Jaehyun turns the camera back on himself and says something about their recording, that he thinks fans will really like the song, and is wrapping up when Taeyong steps out from the booth. If Shotaro thought Taeyong looked good behind the glass of the booth, it’s nothing compared to how he looks closer up. His hair sticks out from underneath his black bucket hat, colored a warm honey blond, and his sweater dips at his chest, exposing pale collar bones and a large triangle of smooth chest. Shotaro’s mouth goes completely dry. Lucas cheers when Taeyong comes over to them, and Shotaro doesn’t need to translate the Korean in his head to understand he’s making fun of Taeyong’s sweater, jeering about how low-cut it is. Taeyong’s ears are slowly turning red and Shotaro hopes his face isn’t following suit.</p><p>Taeyong says something to the camera, waving cutely, before it’s turned off as it’s set up inside the recording booth. The producer starts talking to them, walking them through the schedule for the evening. Taeyong has just recorded the first layer for their own track, on top of the guide track and Jaehyun enters the booth next. Shotaro is taken aback by the quality of his voice, but before he can get too caught up in listening to Jaehyun, Taeyong is slipping onto the couch next to him and alarm bells are sounding in Shotaro’s head.</p><p>“Hello, Shotaro-ah, I didn’t see you get here, was the drive okay?” Taeyong’s eyes are almost completely round, large black pupils focused whole-heartedly on Shotaro. It’s intense. Shotaro swallows before nodding.</p><p>“It was good, manager-nim was very kind!” Shotaro instinctively reaches for his phone in his pocket to show Taeyong the pictures he’d taken at sunset. “And you were in the booth when I arrived, hyung, I’m not sure you could have seen.” Taeyong nods encouragingly, and it’s clear he’s listening intently. Shotaro knows he speaks slowly, but Taeyong seems okay with it.</p><p>“I’m glad the drive was nice. What made manager-nim so kind?” Taeyong asks, repeating the words back to Shotaro, his inflection slightly different from Shotaro’s. He corrected him, but gently and subtly. Shotaro’s chest warms with appreciation. It’s clearer with every interaction they’ve had why Taeyong is the leader.</p><p>“He let me pick the music. My phone.” He waves the device. “He let me plug it in to the car. And we passed the river at sunset and he took pictures of me. Gave me, um, advice for…” Shotaro trailed off, the word he’s looking for on the tip of his tongue, but just out of reach. His face scrunches up in frustration.</p><p>He startles when Taeyong slides his hand over onto Shotaro’s knee, a warm pressure. “It’s okay. Take your time.” Taeyong smiles softly, voice gentle. Distantly Shotaro is aware of Lucas and the staff in the room. He wonders if there’s a camera on him.</p><p>“Social media!” Shotaro exclaims suddenly, smiling brightly. Taeyong’s smile grows and he squeezes Shotaro’s knee, hand sliding up to his lower thigh.</p><p>“Oh? He helped you take pictures?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Shotaro nods enthusiastically and Taeyong huffs out a soft laugh.</p><p>“That must be Jihoon-hyung. He used to work for the Dreamies, always taking their photos for them.” Taeyong’s voice takes a nostalgic twist, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing Shotaro’s knee. It’s nice, it’s a nice feeling. But it sets the butterflies that have taken up permanent residence in his stomach into flight. Taeyong is just so <em>earnest</em>, so intent on being in the conversation. Shotaro hopes the hearts that are surely in his eyes can be explained away as idol-worship.</p><p>The producer says something to Taeyong, asks a question about Jaehyun’s rap take, and his focus on Shotaro is broken. His hand stays on Shotaro’s leg as he turns his head to talk to Jaehyun and the producer.</p><p>“Can I hear it again?” Taeyong asks, brow furrowed. Shotaro hears Jaehyun’s reply from the booth and his smooth voice plays through the studio again. Taeyong listens closely, thumb and forefinger tapping along to the bass against Shotaro’s thing. He tries to sit as still as possible, he doesn’t want to flinch and get Taeyong to pull his hand away.</p><p>“See what I mean?” Jaehyun asks and Taeyong nods.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s almost too melodic I think. Jae, can you try it again, but add some more vocal fry to it. Really use the back of your throat, that might give it the feeling you want.” Taeyong suggests. Jaehyun does and it seems to resolve the problem.</p><p>Taeyong’s ears go pink from the producer’s praise, Shotaro notices. He glances at his own lyric sheet on the table, wonders if he’s supposed to have a vision for what the lines sound like. He’s scribbled the romanization next to each line, he can’t read the hangul fast enough to record yet.</p><p>Taeyong must notice because when he speaks it’s in Shotaro’s ear. “Oh? Do you need help?” Shotaro flinches slightly in surprise and Taeyong makes an apologetic noise.</p><p>“Ah, no, it’s okay,” Shotaro replies, waving Taeyong off. He doesn’t want to admit to the Lee Taeyong that he has no idea if he needs to have a distinct style yet. It’s okay, the producer will give him guidance on how to record.</p><p>Taeyong looks hesitant to accept the dismissal, but before he can Lucas is calling his name, beckoning Taeyong to come look at a video on his phone. Taeyong squeezes Shotaro’s knee one last time, offers a warm smile, and then goes over to Lucas, draping himself half onto the man. Shotaro fights down a strange twisting feeling in his gut, looking away to focus on his lyric sheet instead.</p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>two notes:<br/>1. I know the timeline gets even more convoluted in this chapter, I'm sorry!! I stg every time I make a choice abt when something happens sm releases a video a day later that directly contradicts me!! so remember: suspending disbelief. <br/>2. thank you for all the kudos/comments on ch 1!! I'm glad people are enjoying this funky pairing!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Compared to walking into the recording studio, Shotaro feels at ease heading towards the practice studio. The room is on a different floor than his usual studio, and he’s seen it in videos before, but it’s a dance practice. He’s in his element now. And he’ll get to see Taeyong again! Shotaro takes a quick breath before pushing open the door into the practice room. He’s greeted by several staff members and a very loud, enthusiastic “hello!” from Lucas. He’s with a very pretty boy with dark hair and strong brows. Shotaro bows quickly to the staff before tossing his things in the corner of the room and making his way towards Lucas, who hasn’t stopped chattering to the boy he is with since Shotaro entered. Shotaro smiles, Lucas is loud, but it’s comforting. Shotaro never has to worry about awkward silence with him, and Lucas understands how hard it is to be in a foreign country, not speaking the language. </p><p>	“Our newest member! Shotaro!” Lucas crows as Shotaro comes to a stop beside him. He smiles sheepishly and bows to the dark-haired boy. </p><p>	“Hello, I’m Shotaro.” He says and the boy responds with a big grin.</p><p>	“Hey there! I’m Xioajun, from WayV!” Shotaro smiles back. Before he can really say anything else, Jaehyun walks in, followed by Doyoung and Jaemin. Shotaro recognizes them from dance practices he had watched as a trainee. Jaehyun lights up when he sees people already there and introductions go around. Shotaro glances towards the door every few minutes, waiting to see if anyone else is coming. After ten or so minutes of talking and goofing around, it swings open and Shotaro attempts to tamp down his excitement. It’s easy when he realizes the woman who walks in is definitely not Taeyong. He frowns momentarily before Lucas is nudging him, asking if something is wrong. Shotaro shakes his head quickly. </p><p>	“It’s nothing! But, do you know when Taeyong-hyung will be here?” Lucas frowns deeper. </p><p>	“Did they not tell you?” he asks and Shotaro shakes his head. Lucas sighs. “Of course. Taeyong is taking a break. There’s a defamation lawsuit in the works right now, it was hard on him to bear so he’s gone home to his family for a little while.” Shotaro’s mouth drops in shock. </p><p>	“Really? Is he…” Shotaro trails off, not quite sure how to word his question. Lucas chuckles kindly and squeezes Shotaro’s shoulder. </p><p>	“He’s still on the song, he’ll be back soon. He’s going home for a week and then he’ll film some reality show stuff with me and the rest of SuperM.” Lucas reassures him. Shotaro nods and offers up a smile. </p><p>	“Oh, okay. That’s good.” Lucas smiles back brightly, opens his mouth to speak, but before he can a manager is calling their names. Two people are at the front of the room, a man and a woman. More introductions and Shotaro perks up a little when he recognizes the woman, ReiNa, a Japanese choreographer. </p><p>	He learns the man is Melvin Timtim, and Shotaro’s eyes go wide as he recognizes the name from the choreographer list from Kick It and Ridin’. Shotaro bows deeply when he introduces himself and greets ReiNa in Japanese. Her eyes light up and she takes a few more minutes to talk to him than anyone else. </p><p>	They warm up together as a group before starting to learn the choreography. They start with the chorus and it’s comfortable for Shotaro. He loves dancing, loves performing even more. At one point they need someone to stand in for Taeyong’s position during the verses. At first Timtim does it, so Shotaro can stand in his own spot, but after a few runs, ReiNa suggests Shotaro learn Taeyong’s parts. </p><p>	“He’ll be able to get the part right quickly enough,” she says, taking him by the shoulder and guiding him to stand in the center of their lines. They haven’t really started working in formations, just switching between front and back lines, but they will tomorrow. So Shotaro learns Taeyong’s part, and feels a little closer to his hyung, even if he isn’t there. </p><p>	It’s only a few weeks later when Taeyong returns. He picks everything up twice as fast as anyone else and by their third practice as a whole unit, Shotaro couldn’t tell Taeyong hadn’t always been there. Taeyong squeezes Shotaro’s shoulder and gives him the gentlest smile ever when he finds out Shotaro has been covering his part while he was out. </p><p>	“Thank you,” he murmurs. “I saw some practice videos, you did an excellent job.” The praise makes Sotaro flush, hands going clammy where they rest by his sides. He bows to Taeyong, attempting to stifle the pride in his smile. </p><p>	“I did my best to do you justice, Taeyong-hyung. But really, no one does it like you! You’re… woah” Shotaro makes an explosion-like gesture with his hands and Taeyong lets out a loud, squeaky laugh, rubbing his hands at his face. Shotaro feels more pride when he realizes Taeyong’s ears are going pink. </p><p>	“Thank you, Shotaro. Come on now, let’s get to practicing. Oh, look! Our pants match!” Taeyong says loudly, pointing between their sweatpants. It’s true, they both have matching sweatpants from the same brand, Shotaro’s grey with a blue stripe and Taeyong’s navy with a magenta stripe. Taeyong giggles out his squeaky laugh again, slapping Shotaro gently on his shoulder. </p><p>	“That’s why you’re such a great dancer!” the older jokes and Shotaro can’t contain his own giggle. The whole room laughs, and then Timtim is clapping his hands to get them into formation again. Shotaro feels warmth in his stomach. He and Taeyong have some of the same taste in clothes. Another thing in common, another piece of common ground to talk about. </p><p>	For the rest of the practice Taeyong is near Shotaro, but rarely speaks to him, even when they take breaks to catch their breath. He’s casually touchy, especially with Doyoung, often slapping and pinching the other man playfully. As Shotaro observes their interactions from his periphery it’s easy to see how close Taeyong and Doyoung are, the real love beneath the Tom and Jerry antics. It makes Shotaro’s stomach twist a little, and he refuses to recognize it as anything other than nerves for his debut. Doyoung is particularly kind to him after all, and he speaks the best Japanese out of the <em>Wish</em>. </p><p>	The practice goes on without a hitch, although Taeyong is careful to keep the cameras in the periphery of his vision, and when a member grabs one to film he retreats for a water break. The only moment he encourages to be filmed was when he gave Shotaro pear juice, special pear juice apparently, it’s a trainee thing. Taeyong ruffles his hair fondly and laughs when Shotaro mistakes the character as ldh, his old company. There’s a lingering buzz from Taeyong’s touch, and their leader sticks close to him when he’s not with Doyoung. Lying in bed that night, bone-deep exhaustion from all the schedules and filming lulling him to sleep, he sees Taeyong’s smile when he laughs behind his eyes. </p><p>	All of Shotaro’s… pointed avoidance to naming his feelings is completely thrown out the window a few days later. He’s sitting in the lounge area of the practice room, in between schedules, when Sungchan and Lucas barrel into the room. Shotaro glances up from his phone with a grin. </p><p>	“Hey Taro!” Sungchan calls, flopping down next to him on the couches. “Lucas was just telling me about <em>Wish</em>, it sounds so cool! Can’t believe you’re gonna debut before me,” Sungchan teases, swiping Shotaro’s tea from its place on the table. Shotaro giggles, pushing at Sungchan with his shoulder before throwing a leg over his friend’s. He sees Sungchan every morning and night, but they haven’t been able to hang out like this for a week or so. Shotaro almost forgets Lucas is there until he hears the shutter of a camera and an obnoxious coo. </p><p>	“Aw! You two are adorable! Taro, tell Sungchan about what happened at last practice!” Lucas’s voice echoes through the empty practice room as he launches himself onto the other side of the sofa. </p><p>	Shotaro cocks his head, making a questioning sound. “What happened?” he repeated. </p><p>	Lucas nods. “With the juice,” he explains and Shotaro nods.  </p><p>	“Oh! Yeah, Doyoung-hyung and Taeyong-hyung bought me pear juice. They said they drank it as trainees. “ Sungchan smiles at the mention of it. </p><p>	“Oh! Jungwoo gave me some of his when he debuted in 2018, it’s a Neo thing, a bunch of them drank pear juice when preparing to debut and it’s become like a thing,” Sungchan explains. Shotaro smiles, fingers tightening around his current drink as he thinks back to the gentle grin Taeyong gave him while delicately handing the pear juice over and how he patiently explained to Shotaro what it was. </p><p>	Sungchan nudges Shotaro with a mischievous grin. “Who’re you thinking about to get a smile like that huh?” he ribs. It takes Shotaro a second to process what Sungchan said and then factor in his tone. </p><p>	“What?” he asks after a few seconds, startling a sharp laugh out of Lucas. Sungchan rolls his eyes good-naturedly. </p><p>	“You got this wistful-looking, fond smile so I asked who you were thinking about to cause you to smile like that.” Sungchan repeats and Shotaro feels all the blood in his body rush to his face. He curls in on himself slightly, pulling his legs up to hide himself. </p><p>	“What? No. I wasn’t, um, I wasn’t thinking of anything,” Shotaro stutters out, earning more laughter from Lucas and an unimpressed gaze from Sungchan. “Seriously!” Shotaro says, trying to laugh it off. </p><p>	“Taro, please. C’mon you can tell me! There aren’t any cameras, promise. Plus, if it’s someone who’s been here a while I can help you! I know most of the female staff that work with us anyway! I can help you,” Sungchan says, pouting a little at Shotaro’s hesitation. But that’s the catch, isn’t it? He wasn’t thinking of any of the noonas that smile at him kindly and touch up his hair and make up with gentle hands, or the ones who drive him to schedules and take him around the building from training to practice, or someone who walked with him to get a snack or lunch. Before Shotaro can try and steer the conversation, Lucas pipes up, startling Shotaro. </p><p>	“It’s okay if you don’t want me to know, I can head out,” Lucas offers, reaching out for where he’d tossed his things earlier. “But know that any secrets would be safe with me, and I won’t judge you for whoever it is.” Shotaro’s mouth drops into an “o” of surprise and when his eyes lock with Lucas’s there’s a certain kind of understanding there. </p><p>	Shotaro shakes his head and reaches out a hand in a grabbing motion. “No, no, you can stay, it’s okay.” Shotaro took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “It’s not a noona that I was thinking about, Channie.” he admits, eyes still shut. He holds his breath and the practice room is totally silent, with the exception of the air filter buzzing in the background. Shotaro flinches when he feels a warm hand on his thigh, but it doesn’t pull away. </p><p>	“Taro,” Sungchan’s voice is low and close. “Open your eyes please,” he asks. Shotaro wants to shake his head and squeeze them tighter, a petulant feeling rising in his chest, but he forces himself to exhale slowly and open his eyes. Sungchan is right in front of him, kneeling up on the couch so they’re level. Before Shotaro can say anything Sungchan is lunging forwards, wrapping Shotaro up in a hug. He makes a small noise of surprise before melting into the embrace, eyes burning with unshed tears. Lucas smiles supportively from his seat and Shotaro squeezes Sungchan tight. </p><p>	“Taro,” Sungchan starts, releasing Shotaro from his hug but his hands linger on Shotaro’s shoulders. “That’s alright too, I’m sorry I assumed anything.” Shotaro shakes his head. </p><p>	“You don’t need to apologize Channie, seriously. I don’t… I don’t tell many people,” Shotaro admits, hands twisting in his lap in anxiety. </p><p>	“Thanks for trusting us,” Lucas says. He’s standing now, hovering off to the side like he wants to join their segment of the couch. Shotaro giggles a little and lifts an arm in an invitation for Lucas to join them. He does, tackling Shotaro in a fierce hug. Sungchan laughs joyously and joins in, squashing Shotaro into the couch cushions. They sit like that for a while, taking in comfort in the closeness. </p><p>	Lucas breaks the quiet. “We won’t tell anyone, but I can tell you the guys are all chill about things like this. Jungwoo and I messed around as trainees, and I know Ten has at least slept with a few other members. Some guys just don’t understand, but they never say anything mean or judge us for it.” His voice is calming to hear and it’s reassuring to know he’s not alone in the group. A question nags in his mind, but Shotaro hesitates to speak it. </p><p>	“Lucas?” He asks, nudging Sungchan to let him up so he can look the other boy in the face. Lucas hums an acknowledgment. “Can I ask something?” </p><p>	“Yeah, of course. What is it?” </p><p>	Shotaro takes a deep breath, and Sungchan laces their fingers together. Shotaro squeezes Sungchan’s hand gratefully. “The members who like men, is Taeyong-hyung one of them?” </p><p>	Sungchan breathes out a noise of surprise, but Lucas merely grins, lips stretching wide. “I knew it!” he cheered, and Shotaro felt anxiety twist in his gut. Lucas must pick up on his mood drop because he waves his hands encouragingly. “No, no don’t worry about anyone else knowing! I only suspected because you asked me about him special, that’s all. And I have a good sense for these kinds of things.” </p><p>	Shotaro breathes out a sigh of relief, but before he can say anything, Lucas continues. “Taeyong does like men. This I know, and he isn’t dating Doyoung, before you ask. They’re really just friends.” Lucas assures him. Shotaro breathes a sigh of relief. He smiles gratefully at Lucas. </p><p>	“Thank you, I just--thank you.” Shotaro can feel his eyes tearing up a little, but before the emotions can spill over he’s sandwiched between his two tall friends again. </p><p>They sit like that even longer than before, long enough that eventually Lucas clears his throat and says “Taro, sorry to interrupt the moment but we have to go for practice now.” Shotaro hums and they all untangle. He says goodbye to Sungchan quickly, promises to tell him more in the dorms later. </p><p>He’s out the door and most of the way to the practice room when Lucas puts a hand on Shotaro’s shoulder. </p><p>“For what it’s worth, I think you have a shot. He definitely cares about you already.” Lucas says, and Shotaro fights down the swarm of butterflies in his stomach. His cheeks heat up and he mutters a “thank you” before the elevator next to them dings and Xiaojun is stepping out, greeting Lucas with a loud noise. Shotaro pushes his crush down and greets his bandmate, getting his head in the game. Crush later, time to work now. </p><p>Shotaro pants as he stays frozen in the final ending pose for <em>Make a Wish</em>. They had just run the whole choreography through at least five times in a row. The choreographer claps, alongside the handful of staff members in the room. Taeyong gestures from his position in the middle and all of the boys bow, chanting out a unified thanks to the choreographer for her hard work. </p><p>The manager who always brings the 127 members speaks up. “Ok, excellent work guys! That’s it for today, you have the rest of the afternoon off. I recommend you all get to bed early, call time for pick up before the show recording is very early.” Everyone nods dutifully, although Lucas and Xiaojun are already smirking at each other. Shotaro has only known them for no more than three months but that look spells trouble. Lucas’s eyebrows get all wiggly like that when he’s thinking up a way to toe the line set by the company. The manager waves them off and another chorus of “thank-yous” echoes off the practice room’s walls.</p><p> Lucas bounds over to Shotaro almost immediately. “Hey! Dejun and I are thinking of getting a pack of something and playing video games with Haechan and Yangyang, wanna join?” Shtaro takes in Lucas’s wide grin and bounce to his step and decides immediately that Lucas has far too much energy. </p><p>“Um, sorry, I’m pretty tired and I want to get enough sleep before tomorrow. Besides, I need to turn in early because the trainee dorms are further than your guys, so I’ll be the first picked up.” Shotaro explains gently. Lucas’s eyes go wide and he hurriedly waves off Shotaro’s apology. </p><p>“Fuck, no, sorry!” Lucas rubs a hand across the back of his neck. “I completely forgot about that. Seriously, don’t feel bad.” Lucas’s lips turn up into a wide grin and he pats Shotaro’s shoulder with his other hand. Gosh, his hands are so big. Shotaro hopes he isn’t making a weird face. “Don’t stress too much about tomorrow. The first performance is always the worst, you’re gonna feel really nerves-sick,” Lucas squeezes Shotaro’s shoulder and gives him a gentle smile. “But don’t worry. We’ve all been there, and everyone here has your back.” Shotaro nods under Lucas’s earnest gaze. </p><p>“Thank you Lucas-hyung. I’ll try not to worry too much,” he answers. Lucas claps him on the shoulder one last time before bouncing off to Xiaojun again. Shotaro makes his way over to the couches alongside the side of the practice room, grabbing his bag, sweatshirt, and coat. As he tugs his sweater over his head he sees a familiar pair of sneakers walk up to him. Shotaro tries to get his sweater on faster but he ends up tangled in the excess fabric, head stuck pointing down and arms above his head. He hears a squeaky laugh from the person in front of him before delicate hands are tugging on his sweatshirt and yanking down until Shotaro’s head pops through. </p><p>He opens his eyes and is staring at Taeyong, as he had guessed from the sneakers. Taeyong’s grinning gently, and before Shotaro can begin to get his thoughts in order he’s reaching out to straighten Shotaro’s hair. Shotaro tries not to lean into the touch as Taeyong’s fingers brush through his hair delicately, nails scratching the scalp occasionally. Shotaro can feel his mouth hanging open and forces himself to swallow. </p><p>“Uh,” he starts, and Taeyong yanks his hand back, eyes going wide. </p><p>“Oh! I’m sorry! You seemed to need a hand, I didn’t mean to overstep.” Taeyong bobs his head in apology but Shotro brushes it off. </p><p>“It’s not overstepping, thank you I really needed help Taeyong-hyung,” Shotaro replies, smiling. Taeyong returns the smile, eyes going soft at the corners. Gosh, Shotaro thinks, he’s so beautiful. </p><p>“Okay then. You got any plans for your afternoon off?” Taeyong asks while he rifles through his own bag. Taeyong glances around the studio before he’s pulling an oversized black cardigan out of his bag and he’s tugging his shirt off over his head. Shotaro feels his mouth go dry and his eyes affix themselves to Taeyong’s lean chest and abs. He’s clearly been working on himself or dancing more than ever because he’s all lean muscle and pale skin. Taeyong makes a questioning hum and Shotaro snaps back. </p><p>“Oh! Uh, no, not really. Lucas asked to hang out but I’ll be first for pick up tomorrow.” Shotaro answers. His voice sounds shaky to his own ears, but he hopes Taeyong’s distracted by putting on his sweater. </p><p>His hopes are dashed when Taeyong looks up, worry in his eyes. “That’s right, the trainee dorms are so much further from the recording studio.” Taeyong finally, <em>finally</em> has a shirt on. Shotaro nearly sends up a prayer. He swallows again and Taeyong’s eyes narrow. “Are you feeling okay?” He reaches out to press the back of his hand against Shotaro’s forehead. He frowns further when he pulls it away. Shotaro can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears. </p><p>“I’m just, uh, nervous,” he admits, reaching up to adjust his hoodie. Taeyong makes a soft noise. </p><p>“I see, that’s fine. I was terrified before my debut.” Taeyong chuckles. “You’ll do great, I’m sure of it!” Taeyong pauses for a moment before his eyes light up and go all sparkly. </p><p>“Hey, why don’t you sleep at the 127 dorms tonight? Haechan is sleeping with the Dreamies, you can either share with Johnny, or if you don’t feel comfortable then you can take my bed.” </p><p>Shotaro’s eyes go wide. “I-I couldn’t… really?” Taeyong nods brightly, and he makes a gesture to someone behind Shotaro, calling them over. </p><p>“Definitely. You need sleep, and our dorms are always the last stop since there’s so many of us.” Taeyong brushes off Shotaro’s concern, taking him by the arm and leading him over to where Jaehyun and Doyoung are waiting. Shotaro barely remembers to grab his bag, his mind is racing and he already feels nerves bubbling in his stomach. </p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. AUTHOR UPDATE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>NOT A CHAPTER JUST AN UPDATE <br/>I'm sorry I always dislike getting these because I get all excited when I get the email but I really want to update you guys!!</p>
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    <p>I'm super super sorry that I haven't updated in almost 2 months!!!! </p><p>It really kills me because I know this wasn't supposed to be so long and the chapter count just keeps going up and up every time I look at my outline. Feburary was a really rough month for me and I've been in a bad writing slump. So please know this work is by no means abandoned!! I'm writing the next chapters slowly but surely and they will be out sometime soon. I don't want to sacrifice quality so I'm not going to make any promises but I hope to be back on schedule by April. I love each and every person who has left a comment or a kudos or sent me a tweet, I can't believe how many people are reading this silly little fic! </p><p>So thank you for all your patience and support thus far, and I hope you can find some more in the interim! I hope to be back soon with more baby boy shenanigans! There's a lot in store to come so please stay tuned! </p><p>Thank you so much!</p><p>Nina (@iceice_ty)</p>
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